Moving on up: helping your child with additional needs transition to secondary school

10 mins read

Friday 14 March 2025

Tags: Moving to secondary school

On 3 March, parent carers across England and Wales – who care for a child without an Education, Health and Care plan (EHC) plan or Independent Development Plan (IDP) – learnt what secondary school their child will go to in September. (In Northern Ireland, post-primary school places will be sent out on 10 May and in Scotland no offers are made as councils decide where pupils are placed.)

Moving to secondary school is a big step for any child, but if your child has additional or special needs, it is particularly daunting. While there will undoubtedly be challenges along the way, careful preparation and support can make a world of difference.

Here, Caroline Klage from our friends at law firm Bolt Burdon Kemp explores some of the challenges your child might face during the move from primary to secondary school and provides some practical tips to help from her unique perspective both as a parent of neurodivergent children who have already made this transition and also as a specialist brain injury lawyer with over 25 years’ experience supporting seriously injured children and their families through this journey.

In this article

Understanding the challenges

The transition to secondary school is huge. Your child will have to find their way around a busy, noisy, unfamiliar building, adapt to multiple teachers – all with different teaching styles – and may take on a demanding curriculum with multiple subjects. A more physically demanding day adds to fatigue, while any mobility issues or medical needs become more difficult to manage in a larger school. Navigating timetables, keeping track of belongings, understanding and noting down what homework is being set and managing classroom changes as well as trying to find time to have a snack, lunch and to go to the toilet are tricky for any child. Secondary school is a constant set of transitions, from the moment your child steps foot into the building.

Change for humans can cause anxiety, especially if it’s unexpected. For children with additional needs, particularly those with Autism Spectrum Condition (ASC) or a brain condition, who struggle with memory, concentration, organisation and/or processing new information, the anxiety is magnified. They may not be able to remove themselves from a situation, causing overwhelm and they may not be able to fully communicate what they’re experiencing, compounding their difficulties.

A child in this situation may go into ‘fight or flight’ mode. In fight mode, they could kick, scream, hit out, spit, throw, punch, yell or use mean words. In flight mode they could run off, hide or become fidgety or restless. Or they may go into freeze mode, shutting down and being uncommunicative and unresponsive.

How to help your child

As soon as your child knows what school they are going to they will want to know more about it. This is the time for both the school and you to be proactive in terms of information gathering and communication. It helps for the new school to find out as much as possible about the child from their primary school and from you, their parents. The school can also invite your child in and allow them to take photographs or even create a video. They can introduce them to key members of staff and, where possible, offer opportunities to meet other students they’ll be working with. While many secondary schools offer a transition day, this is usually in the summer term, but for some young people even waiting that long can be really anxiety provoking. So, the sooner you can get in touch with the school, ideally through the Special Educational Needs Coordinator (SENCO) in England or Additional Learning Needs co-ordinator in Wales, the better. This is also the time to think about changes to morning and afternoon routines at home. Your child will need to gather and pack the items they need for each day. They may need to leave home and set out for their new school earlier, and travel further, using a different mode of transport, possibly travelling independently for the first time.

Children with ASC or a brain condition often struggle with planning and organising themselves, making decisions, regulating their emotions and controlling their behaviour. If they can’t figure out what they need to do in the morning, or they’re worrying about which books they need to pack, or they can’t find their PE kit, they’ll have an anxiety driven morning, which will play out during the rest of the day and in the worst-case scenario, could result in school refusal.

So, a calm start to the day is essential. And parents can really help with that. Involve your child in creating a visual step-by-step schedule for the morning routine to support their independence. They may not need this all the way through school, but having this ready at the beginning of secondary school will help them get into school feeling calm and ready to learn. A similar schedule for the after-school routine can help your child keep up to date with homework assignments, get ready for the following day, as well as time to rest, relax and recharge after a full day of school.

What to do when things don’t go as planned

Sometimes, even with the best preparation, your child may be so overwhelmed by anxiety or by something that’s happened during the day, their fight, flight or freeze behaviour becomes hard for you to manage. In these situations, even if the behaviour can feel threatening at times, it can be helpful to remember that behaviour is just your child’s way of communicating emotions they aren’t able to articulate verbally. Try to take a step back, take a breath, and disengage your own emotional reaction to what’s going on so you can try to figure out what’s going on for your young person. What could have triggered that response? Getting angry or upset is only like to escalate an already challenging situation. If your child is in fight or flight mode, having a safe space they can retreat to, like their bedroom if they’re at home, or a quiet room if at school, can help calm things down.

Communicating with a child in freeze mode is not easy but side by side conversations, say during a car journey or a walk, can help a child feel able to explain what’s going on. Sometimes taking all verbal communication out of the equation and relying on texts, Whatsapp messages and so on works well for young people.

Caroline’s top tips for moving schools

Each child is unique and there is no one size fits all but, to sum up, here are some strategies that have helped me, my children, and my clients with serious brain injuries, manage this important milestone:

Build a relationship with the school early

Meeting with the school’s Special Educational Needs Coordinator (SENCO)/Additional Learning Co-ordinator or inclusion team early. Share your child’s diagnosis and evidence confirming this with the SENCO /Additional Learning Co-ordinator, inclusion team. This will help you to get them to take you and your child seriously. And share information about your child’s condition and needs, their strengths and challenges before the start of the new school year.

Create a transition plan

Work with your child’s school to develop a clear plan outlining the support your child will need, including classroom adjustments, rest breaks and additional resources. Any information which will help teachers to understand and support your child could be included in a “passport” which the SENCO/Additional Learning Coordinator can prepare with you and circulate to your child’s teachers.

Get to know the school environment and the journey to and from school

Arrange school visits and meet key staff, practice navigating the layout of the building. Also rehearse the journey to and from school.

Prepare your child for the social side

Connect your child with other pupils starting at the school by setting up playdates if possible and attend induction events. ole-play social scenarios with your child such as introducing themselves or asking for help.

Equip your child with practical tools

Provide organisational systems like a colour-coded timetable or labelled folders for each subject and teach them to use a planner to manage homework and deadlines.

Establish a consistent routine

Help your child create a predictable routine, with time for rest and preparation, including packing bags and laying out clothes the night before to avoid any last-minute wobbles the next morning.

Monitor your child’s wellbeing

Regularly check on your child’s emotional, social, and physical wellbeing. Look out for signs of overwhelm, such as increased anxiety or reluctance to go to school and address these early.

Communicate with the school

Stay in touch with teachers and learning support staff to ensure your child’s needs are being met. Request additional support or adjustments if necessary. Also, celebrate small wins and focus on positive reinforcement and acknowledge your child’s achievements, no matter how small, to build their confidence and resilience, focussing on their progress rather than perfection and use positive reinforcement.

Encourage independence gradually

Teach your child strategies for self-advocacy like encouraging them to ask for help or explain their needs to teachers. Gradually increase their daily responsibilities, such as packing their bag or managing their timetable, with your guidance.

More support for you as a parent

Supporting a child with ASC or a brain condition can be emotionally and physically taxing. Don’t forget to:
• Seek professional advice: Engage with specialists such as occupational therapists or educational psychologists who can offer tailored guidance.
• Connect with other parents: Join support groups or forums for families of children with additional needs to share experiences and advice like Contact’s Facebook group.
• Be kind to yourself: Give yourself permission to take breaks and ask for help when you need it.
• Remember: take a step back and take a breath. If you can tag team with a partner, then do so.
• Get advice, from Contact’s helpline, if your child is struggling, or the school are not providing the additional support your child needs. Ultimately, if your child’s needs cannot be met through the school’s existing resources, consider making an application for an EHC Plan assessment. An EHC Plan is for children and young people aged up to 25 who need more support than is available through special educational needs support.

If you think your child’s ASC or brain condition is due to medical negligence or an accident and you need further advice or support, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with me at Bolt Burdon Kemp (BBK). As someone who works closely with families of children with brain injuries, I understand the unique challenges you face and am here to help.

Listen to our podcast about how to help your child make the move to secondary school

Listen to our podcast where Caroline talks to us about her tips for a smooth transition from primary to secondary school.

Additional information

Bolt Burdon Kemp (BBK) is a long term supporter of Contact providing funding for our By Your Side hospitals programme and BBK staff also kindly volunteer for Contact and take part in fundraising events.

Read BBK’s step by step guide to making a medical compensation claim.