The members of the forum steering group are likely to be very committed parents who are passionate about what they are doing and want to achieve. They might have very different experiences of services and different views on what changes are most needed. They will also have different personalities. Some parents might appear very confident and tend to be quite directive. Others might find it difficult to challenge when they disagree with what others are saying.
It is almost inevitable that at some point in time there will be differences of opinion within the steering group over some aspect of the forum’s work. This might be because of disagreement over:
- Who holds key positions in the forum.
- Which areas of work to prioritise.
- How the forum is spending money.
- How to handle situations with local authorities or health services.
Differences of opinion can arise because of:
- One person wanting to do things their way.
- Personality clashes.
- Inappropriate conduct by one or more member of the committee.
Conflict can be minimised by making sure that at meetings everyone is encouraged to express themselves openly and honestly. Make sure that you make decisions collectively and transparently. It also helps to have clear guidelines on how to conduct meeting and what is unacceptable behaviour or language. Forums should have a code of conduct and consider a terms of reference for the steering group. Having these in place before a conflict arises can be supportive for forums.
Managing conflict calmly is key to neutralising or resolving it.
TOP TIP
Look at our policies and procedures page for example templates.
Video: Managing conflict for parent carer forums
Involving a third party/mediator
If the group can’t resolve the conflict, it may be helpful to involve a third party to mediate. They will:
- Listen to all sides of an argument.
- Encourage individuals to move from their fixed positions or interests.
- Help people focus on what is needed in order to move beyond the issue.
- Encourage the group to find a solution which is owned and acceptable to everyone.
- Write an agreement which everyone must stick to.
- Enable the forum to refocus their attention on the positive outcomes they are trying to achieve.
Often just being given the opportunity to speak uninterrupted, and have someone listen to what the issues are and how they affect the other person, can be a major step towards the resolution of a conflict. People are often so caught up in how something affects them or their child that they do not consider the bigger picture or how the same issues may affect others in very different ways.
The services of a trained mediator do not come cheaply. You may be able to find someone you know who is impartial to assist, and negotiate between parties to help them reach an amicable solution. You may also want to look at the section ‘Support for Forums’.
If a forum is experiencing internal conflict, they would benefit from talking to the forum’s Contact adviser.
Develop team ‘ground rules’ that commit to respecting the views of others.
- Allow people to express frustration or anger openly and respectfully, otherwise it can come out indirectly.
- Openly and calmly discuss differences before they develop into major conflict.
- Try to find solutions that incorporate any different viewpoints, if possible.
- Thank people for their contribution to the discussion.
- Make sure that you make decisions collectively – by vote if necessary. Make sure you record decisions too.
- Ensure you have a code of conduct so there are agreed processes for managing very difficult situations before they occur.
- ACAS: Guide: challenging conversations and how to manage them
- Helpguide.org: Conflict resolution skills
Do you have any thoughts about this page? Visit our How to feedback page to share them.
Looking for something else? You can find a full list of pages on our Parent carer forum handbook contents page.
More information on conflict resolution
Support for forums
Find out what support there is for forums
Support for forums
Understanding and resolving conflict
Click here to watch this video on our YouTube Channel
Find out more
Contact adviser
Find out more about your named Contact adviser
Contact Parent Carer Participation Advisers
Compassionate Communication and the power of empathy
Click here to watch this video on our YouTube channel
Find out more
Managing conflict in forums
See our resource on managing conflict
Managing conflict Contact associates
Find out more about Contact associates
Contact Associates