Meeting with the school
Listen to useful tips and advice on meeting with the
school to discuss bullying issues.
We've made a full podcast series called Dealing with bullying.
If you think your child is being bullied, let the school know your concerns straight away. If you have spoken to the school but it is still happening, ask the school for a meeting. You can put your request for a meeting in writing.
We have made an arranging a meeting letter template.
Before the meeting
- Speak to your child and try to find out how they want the school to deal with the bullying and the support they would like in school.
- See if anyone can come with you to the meeting. You could ask a friend or relative, or contact your local Information Advice and Support Service to ask if a worker or volunteer supporter can come with you.
- Make sure you have a copy of the school's behaviour policy (and anti-bullying policy if they have one).
- Be as clear as you can about what is happening. We have a bullying log you can download to log all bullying incidents and the effect the bullying is having on your child, physically and emotionally.
- Make notes or bullet points about what you want to say and what you want to the school to do. This will help you to remain focused during the meeting.
During the meeting
- Even if you are feeling angry and frustrated, try not to go in 'all guns blazing'. You are more likely to be listened to if you stay calm.
- If you have someone with you, ask them to take notes as a record of discussions and any agreed next steps. They can help calm you and take notes as a reminder of what is agreed.
- Even if you feel the school should have dealt with things differently, try to focus on making things better now rather than looking back at what the school has or has not done.
- When agreeing a way forward, it's ok to make suggestions to the school about how they can support your child. Let the school know what your child would find helpful.
- Try and work with the school to improve things. Some actions may not happen immediately and you may need more than one meeting to resolve it.
At the end of the meeting, confirm who will be the main contact at the school and how they will be keep you updated. You may want to agree a date for a future meeting to review things.
- Read about the different approaches schools may use to stop bullying.
- Find out what you can do if the bullying continues after your meeting.
- Download our parent guide Dealing with bullying [PDF].